2.11.2010

..MY chicken soup for the soul..

“Please, can I play with the swings now??”

“But I’m not done yet,”

“Aww, please with cream and cherry on top,”

At the moment she said that to me, I immediately fell in love with her. Though, deep in my heart, I know she deserves someone else, someone who’s much better than me. I was 9, and so was she. We lived near, in the city of Khartoum, Sudan. We went to school together, played together, had lunch together, got home together. We even hate the same teachers. The only thing separating us was she was smarter and a lot more popular than I was. But the story started that afternoon, at that particular playground, on the metal chained swings- a perfect puppy love story.

Until one day, her father got posted by his company to another franchise, in another state. Lightning stroke my heart as soon as I knew. I wanted to tell her how I feel, but it never did happen. Every time I started talking about emotions, my heart pounded so fast that it didn’t seem to want to stop. Alas, I never did tell her, even until the day she left. My mom gave me a letter on that day. She said it was from her, and it was. In it she wrote all the things that we did together, and how she appreciates me being the friend that she loved. At the end of the letter, she wrote;

“I love you. So don’t you dare forget me,”

“P/s: Please don’t forget me, please with cream and cherry on top.”

I was very sad and disappointed at the same time, that she left without knowing how I truly feel. Tears came rushing down my cheeks as I finished the letter. I was very disappointed at myself.

That was 10 years ago. Now, I have grown. But memories never did fade. I didn’t forget her. God knows how much I truly miss her. The years passed one at a time, wasted. Time without her seemed lifeless. Though I have grown to become someone all by myself, she was the one who completed me. Puppy love didn’t seem so small or tame. My puppy love was more like a canine love.

One day, I decided to take the small kids, nieces and nephews, to the park. They were all excited, they should be. As soon as we arrived there, the children scrambled off. They all seemed to enjoy every game but the swings. So I sat at the swings and watched them by the side. Memories came pouring into my head once again. I remembered her laugh, how she would laugh on stupid jokes I made. I remembered her smile, how it was naturally arranged in perfect order. I remembered how she would smirk to the teacher if her answer was wrong. I remembered how we sent hours together in the library reading Goosebumps. I remembered everything about her time with me. I remembered like never before.

“Excuse me, can I play with the swings now??”

I was dazzled. My heart pounded so fast that it drained away my energy just to turn to the voice. I didn’t know what to do, what to expect, what to hope for.

“Please with cream and cherry on top,”

As soon as I heard that, it gave life to me. I finally had the courage to turn, and face a beautiful young lady. And there she was, smiling straight at me. I stood up on my week legs, knees shivering, which I can’t believe my eyes. Her smile was recognizable. 10 years didn’t seem to change her or my love towards her. Time seemed to stop for our temporary reunion. Nothing else mattered to me but to say those words to her. And I did.

Years passed after our romantic reunion. But years never did take away our love towards each other. In fact, it grew deeper and stronger. Just last night I proposed to her. I was on my knee holding her hands tight.

“Will you marry me?”

“Will you marry me, please?”

“Marry me, please with cream and cherry on top.”

12.24.2009

..an ignorant fool..


killing yourself doesnt help you,
ignorant fool
it never will
but it helps others

"assholes like dont even deserve to live"
they say
but you know you dont even deserve to die
you're not worthit of living-loving

take a dagger
and dig into your lonely flesh
take a rope
and behold your own execution
make a hole
a place for your own grave
light yourself up
with flames of anger rebellious and misery
betray your life
betray your destiny
betray yourself

enough have people suffered for you
enough have people try to love you
enough have you pushed them further away
enough have your actions hurt everyone
go away
where you belong
back to your emptyness
back to your loneliness

:((
creds to miamiera.blogspot.com

12.21.2009

..what the hell did i do wrong..

i dont understand you,,
you kejap okay,,kejap x
kejap manje manje,kejap baran
ape2 ah you ni
PMS ka??
haiyoo
i mean seriously
stop doing that to me
it hurts you know
stupid catt
haha

was talking about Lily
my cat
hakhak..
the best cat anyone could ask for
:)

:p
creds to Lily

..i miss them..

22 Dec 09, 12:12 AM
..me..: :p
22 Dec 09, 12:12 AM
****t: hoit,pe kutuk2 aq ha??
22 Dec 09, 12:11 AM
..me..: mcDELIvery
22 Dec 09, 12:11 AM
aiman: haha
22 Dec 09, 12:10 AM
aiman: name aq dalam blog HAMZAH AZHAN.....banggenyeee
22 Dec 09, 12:10 AM
aiman: thnx
22 Dec 09, 12:10 AM
..me..: nah
22 Dec 09, 12:09 AM
aiman: xde ah..bagi e mel ko..
22 Dec 09, 12:09 AM
..me..: aimann ade kot
22 Dec 09, 12:09 AM
..me..: hmmmmm,,012-*******..haha.carik sendiri
22 Dec 09, 12:08 AM
****t: bagi no phone la
22 Dec 09, 12:08 AM
****t: hoit,buat ape maen kat sini ha??
22 Dec 09, 12:07 AM
..me..: diam ah..bangkai punye emann..haha
22 Dec 09, 12:07 AM
aiman: name aq dalam blog HAMZAH AZHAN.....banggenyeeee
22 Dec 09, 12:07 AM
aiman: sebot name aq,haha
22 Dec 09, 12:06 AM
****t: aiman gitaw salam,pastu die gitaw aq,haha
22 Dec 09, 12:06 AM
..me..: camne ko jumpe blog aq??
22 Dec 09, 12:06 AM
..me..: DELIIIIIII...!bapak lame x jumpe ko..haha
22 Dec 09, 12:05 AM
****t: haha

22 Dec 09, 12:05 AM
..me..: oi,,spae ko ah??
22 Dec 09, 12:04 AM
..me..: wtf??
22 Dec 09, 12:04 AM
****t: taik busuk..!
22 Dec 09, 12:03 AM
aiman: agak lame la jugak.hakhak
22 Dec 09, 12:03 AM
..me..: emannnnn...lame x dengar cerita..haha
22 Dec 09, 12:02 AM
aiman: :p
22 Dec 09, 12:02 AM
aiman: aiman x kesah..

12.16.2009

..haa..

hoi hoi
dengar cerite Arsenal menang lwn Liverpool
haha
aq da agak da
budak budak ni cakap kosong je
Arsenal gempak kot
aq tebgok sendiri kat kedai mamak
(tp xde krusi/meje pecah ah)
heh

2-1

haha
padan muke Liverpool
hidop Arsenal

ha
skang sape kate Liverpool lagi bagos dari Arsenal??
ngak sendiri la woi
haha
:p

:p
creds to Mamak

12.11.2009

..the family to be with..

Me ; Ma,Aba,,

Ma&Aba ; hmmmm...? (curious)

Me ; what if i fail??? (sweating)

Ma&Aba ; (smile)

Me ; im serious,,what if i didnt get what you want for me??
what if i x dapat 10A+??
what if i fail??

Ma&Aba ; we still love you..!

Me ; you're not answering my question..

Ma&Aba ; we are..
no matter who you are,,
how you turn out to be,,
we still love you,,
and you know we'll always be here for you..!


yeah
that's what they told me
soooo sweet..
:)


you know how life sometimes gets you down
well
actually you did that on your own
but you know that behind you
there's your parents
your family
the one you can really trust with all your heart
and they'll love you forever
no matter what kind of parents they are
they'll love you
no matter in which family
they'll love ou
even if you are a huge failure
they'll love you
and they expect nothing back
then just your love
not your 10A+
not your money
nothing
BUT YOUR LOVE IN RETURN

i love my family for that
i've learn that
and now it's your turn

12.09.2009

..new member of the Arsenal Fan Club..

lol
i know its hard to believe
but yes this is Hamzah
haha

the story's like this,,
many of my friends think that im not a normal guy
not manly enough
BUKAN LELAKI SEJATI
just because i x tengok bola (and PORN)
haha


so one day,,
i went to see a live Football match back at Saser with a friend
Arsenal vs (a club that i forgot)
and WOW...!
hell of a game
at the moment i laid eyes on that team,,
it was clear that destiny brought us together
hahahaha

me ; wow, nice footwork.. (buat buat pandai)

Numan ; ye lah,,da kate Fabregas

me ; owh, i thought is was Cesc,, ?

Numan ; i give up,,you go and play masak masak ngan Barbie doll ko la

me ; heh.. :p
so yeah folks,,
even if i dont know much about these clubs,
even if im stupid enough to know
only 3 of the Arsene's players
(Cesc Fabregas,,Ashavin,,Eduardo)
even im silly enough that i cant recognise
which is Fabregas and which is Cesc
(even though they are the same person)
im an Arsenal's Fan
haha
so watch out kedai kedai mamak,,
you're gonna have nightmares
(o at least broken tables and chaires)
:p

:p
creds to Fabregas,,
you rule